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Famous Headlines I always remember an embarrassing
moment when, as a young professor, I was earnestly laboring to convey the essence
of phonology, contrasting "p" and "b", and came up with
a sentence something like, "Now if we give names to the two qualities,
"p-ness" and "b-ness"... As a speech therapist
a number of years ago evaluating the articulation of children, I gave an articulation
test to all of the incoming kindergartners. The purpose of the test was to
elicit all of the sounds of English, the "zu" (pleasure) being one
of them. I gave the same test over and over and in response to the pictures
shown them, children said the word. For this particular sound, the target was
"television." One young boy looked at the picture and said "t.v."
a typical response to which I had a pat prod, "Yeah, and what's the long
word for t.v.?" He looked at me very very puzzled for a long while and
then he brightened up and said, "TTTTTTVVVVVVV!"
HOW TO WRITE
ENGLISH GOOD :
From one school that teaches our children
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Chevrolet Nova didn't do well
in Spanish speaking countries ... Nova means 'No Go'... ![]()
Bacardi concocted a
fruity drink with the name "Pavian" to suggest a "French chic"
but "Pavian" means "baboon" in German.
A peanut-packed chocolate bar targeted at Japanese teenagers
needing energy while preparing for exams ran headlong into a belief that eating
peanuts and chocolate causes nosebleeds.
Parker (Pens) translated the slogan for its ink, "Avoid
Embarrassment - Use Quink" into Spanish as "Evite Embarazos - Use
Quink" ... which also means "Avoid Pregnancy - Use Quink."
This is a sign posted in a 4 star
hotel in South France.
"Your attention please.First. It is absolutely
forbidden take the cover and the counterpane to go in the garden for take sun.
Secondly, it's absolutely forbid to go out by windows because all curtains
are damaged. Third, you are request take care when you take shower because
innondation rot the carpet. But after this instructions, you don't take care,
I'll be obliged to take sanctions. The direction".
When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they
used the same packaging as in the USA - the cute baby on the label. Later,
when investigating lower than expected sales figures, they found out that it
is common practice in Africa to put pictures of the contents on food package
labels. ![]()
Coors slogan, "Turn it Loose," translated into Spanish
as "Suffer From Diarrhea."
Puffs
tissues had a bad name in Germany since "Puff" is a colloquial term
for whorehouse.
Jolly Green Giant
translated into Arabic means "Intimidating Green Ogre."
When Coca-Cola first came to China, it was given a similar
sounding name, but the characters used for the name meant "Bite the Wax
Tadpole."
Chicken magnate Frank
Perdue wants us to know that "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken,"
but the Spanish translation came out as "It takes a sexually stimulated
man to make a chicken affectionate." But he is still around, even if his
name means "lost" in French.
Justice of the Peace (to bride who teaches linguistics): Do
you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband in good times or in bad?
Bride (after brief pause): In good times.
A distinguished linguistics professor was lecturing on the
phenomenon of double negatives. As he neared the end of his talk, he drew himself
up and declared solemnly: In conclusion, let me observe that while there are
numerous cases where a double negative conveys a positive, there is no case
where a double positive conveys a negative. Whereupon, from the back of the
room, arose a small voice dripping with disdainful condescension: Yeah, yeah...
One large US software company specialized
in letterhead and business cards advertise on their products in France: "Imprimez
votre carte de travail" which means "Green card". It seems to
be an easy way to get one.![]()
Something
went wrong in jet crash, experts says
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Drunk gets nine months in violin case
Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents
Farmer Bill dies in house
Iraqi head seeks arms
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
British left waffles on Falkland Islands
Eye drops off shelf
Teacher
strikes idle kids
Reagan wins on budget,
but more lies ahead
Squad helps dog
bite victim
Shot off woman's leg helps
Nicklaus to 66
Enraged cow injures
farmer with ax
Plane too close to
ground, crash probe told
Miners refuse
to work after death
Juvenile court
to try shooting defendant
Stolen
painting found by tree
Two soviet
ships collide, one dies
2 sisters
reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
Never withhold herpes infection from loved
one
Drunken drivers paid $1000 in
'84
War dims hope for peace
If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last
a while
Cold wave linked to temperatures
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Just between you and I case is important.
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
Don't use no double negatives.
When one is writing, it is important to maintain
your point of view.
Proofread your work.
Do not tolerate mispellings!
Watch out
for irregular verbs which have croped into the language.
Don't say the same thing more than once. It's redundant and repetitious.
If the writer is considerate of the reader,
he won't have a problem with ambiguous sentences.
The smothering of verbs is a cause of the weakening of the sentence
impact.
Avoid the utilization of enlarged
words when shortened ones will do.
Perform
a functional iterative analysis on your work to root out third generation transitional
buzz words.
Make sure you hyp-henate
properly.
Sentences should be written
in the active voice when giving instructions, so that the subject of the action
can be identified clearly.
Avoid the use
of dyed-in-the-wool clichés.
The
defacto use of foreign phrases vis-a-vis plain English in your written tete-a-tetes
makes the sentence harder to understand.
Continuity of thought, logical development and smooth transitions
are important. Never leave the reader guessing.
Beware of malapropisms. They are a communist subversive plot.
Join clauses good like a conjunction should.
Each pronoun should agree with their antecedent.
It has come to our considered attention
that in a large majority of cases, far too many people use a great deal more
words than is absolutely necessary when engaged in the practice of writing
sentences.
Be careful of dangling participles
writing a paper. ![]()
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